A Real Girl's Quest for Self-Discovery

A New Beginning...

Posted in on 10:21 PM by Julia♥

Well...it's been a LONG time since I last wrote a "blog" and I've been thinking about sitting down to write on a daily basis.

I have been very overwhelmed lately with life. Nothing major, just the normal things "mommy's" deal with every day. (Paying bills, breastfeeding/pumping/supply issues, keeping up with 2 boys on no sleep, etc.) Today, I am marking a new beginning...

1) A new "me"....I am continuing on my Weight Watchers journey, as well as adding an exercise routine, Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred!!

&
2) I AM going to be blogging again!!! (So, stay tuned)

Here's to a new beginning...

Patience & Love

Posted in on 7:33 PM by Julia♥

I don't know how I stumbled upon this website, but I did...and I can't help, but get emotional. It is about babies who've past away from SIDS.

Something I pray for on a regular basis, is "patience." Living in a home with two little boys can definitely make you wonder if you are as patient a person as you always thought you were.

Daniel is a very active little guy always finding something to get into, still NOT pooping in the potty...just in his underwear, loves to dart from mommy even if I say my "magic words.." RED LIGHT!! These are just a few of the things that make him a challenge...and Nathan with his reflux, quirky preferences for how he likes to be held and whiny little baby attitude, it sometimes takes a lot to get through the day.

BUT with all that said, I have NEVER been MORE in love with my little boys....

Daniel has such a sweet little inquisitive face, a gentle voice that loves to ask "why & how questions", a yearning for knowledge...a button nose, a smile that lights up even the darkest room. He has an imagination that is out of this world, a passion for Fire Fighters, a sweet singing voice and a love for Jesus.

Nathan has a huge smile that wakes me up in the mornings, an ability to nuzzle like a cuddly little puppy, 2 large round GRAY eyes, a small freckle birthmark next to his belly button and a curiosity for the many wonders of the world. A full head of silky dark hair and a "giggle" that we've only heard a few times, but are already in love with.

So even on the hardest of days, I find myself so thankful for all of their amazing attributes and just the mere fact that they are happy & healthy. They really are perfect in every way and I couldn't be MORE proud to be their mommy.

So, when I came upon this website I couldn't help but feel sad and thankful at the same time.

Here's a little bit of a letter on the website that really touched me, "It's been three weeks since I last saw your smiling face. I miss you every minute of every day but the hardest times are in the morning and during the night when you would usually wake me up. I am so sorry I didn't take you with me that morning when I left to run errands. I can't stop seeing your little face while you watched me walk back and forth getting ready and then as I was leaving, you were sitting on daddy's lap on the couch and I waved goodbye and said "Mommy will be back Jakey, Mommy will be back". I'm sorry I didn't come back before you left us. I wish I just took you with me, I could have taken you with me, but you were tired and daddy was gonna lay you down for your nap. I cant help but wonder if things would be different. I love you so much my little boy."

Just remember to take life one day at a time and always be grateful for what you DO have, not what you don't. If you feel like you are getting stressed out, take a breather...life is too short to get upset. Pick your battles and always go to bed happy. And most importantly, KISS & HUG your kids more times in a day than you can count!!!!

My life is becoming clear

Posted in on 2:01 PM by Julia♥

Nothing will ever separate us from our Jesus and the love that he's so freely given us. It amazes me more and more how when you take the time to talk to God your prayers really ARE answered. This is the motivation for this particular entry.

As those of you who have been reading my blog know, I've been searching for quite a few things for quite some time. One of those things being, what do I do with my life?

My baptism last Sunday has made me yearn for direction even more than before. Not only career wise, but with my family as well.

So I've had two revelations...

1) I want my boys to become responsible, kind young men. Therefore, I am going to start teaching them character values at the dinner table. You know, the important things like trustworthiness, respect, responsibility, fairness, caring, patience, honesty, love, faith, etc. I have these great books that have a little story and some questions on each. Too much these days you see kids who are lost because they aren't being parented. Whether it be because the parents just shouldn't be parents, because money is so scarce these days, or days are getting shorter and shorter I dunno, but Im the first one to admit....we have to start prioritizing our lives better.

2) I want to be a teacher. Anyone who knows me, know that I've been "teaching" since I was a little girl. I taught my neighbor the anatomy of a plant when I was about 7....my cousins how to dance and put on a performance....the kids I babysat how do do an extensive assortment of craft projects, etc. etc. I have been saying, "I am going to be a teacher" I think since I first started talking. 1 AA degree, and 2 1/2 certificate programs and I'm still yet to do what I truly love. I don't know why I've gone back and forth so much, but for some reason nomatter what I do, I'm not happy. So I began to pray about this, "God, should I go into teaching? Is that my calling? What can I do that will glorify you?" He began answering my prayer in the most obvious way....First, my mom out of the blue said, "You would be a great teacher!" Second, a friend of ours (who is a retired teacher) was talking about how you love your job so much more when it was something you loved as a child. She told us about how she used to teach the kids in her neighborhood. Lastly, I was talking to a great friend of mine who was telling me she could see me as a teacher...and how I need to start taking classes and just go for it because I would do a great job. So, I decided YES, I will pursue this, finally!!! I looked into a couple of colleges and am very interested in National University, because it's done online with 1 class per month. Perfect for having 2 kiddos. I still need to get more information, but the way I see it is, if I start once Nathan starts sleeping longer at night *cross your fingers* then I will be finished about the time he's ready for preschool. PERFECT! I will finally be able to say I have my own career, I will finally be able to provide FINANCIAL support for my family, I will finally do something they can be PROUD of.

I feel at peace with my decision, now I just need to pray that all of the puzzle pieces fall into place.

I don't know what's happened to me in the past week, but life is really starting to feel GREAT and I just wanted to share with you some lyrics from a song that really touches my heart...

It's called "From the Inside Out" & it's sung by Hillsong

A thousand times I've failed
Still Your mercy remains
And should I stumble again
I'm caught in Your grace
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame

In my heart and my soul
I give You control
Consume me from the inside out
Lord let justice and praise
Become my embrace
To love you from the inside out

Consume me Lord, from the INSIDE out.....I give you control of my life, my decisions...help me to use my life to glorify you! Thank you for lifting me up everytime I stumble...your light will always shine within me.

Outward Testimony

Posted in on 8:29 PM by Julia♥

Today was a great day! Gabriel & I were baptized together at our church, Church on the Hill.

It was something we had been thinking about doing for quite some time, but we never felt like the moment was right. We either weren't where we wanted to be in our relationship with God or we didn't have a church we felt that we could call "home." Until now, that is...

We have finally found a church we feel we belong at, we are keeping our faith as the most important aspect of our lives and baptism was the next step for us. We were able to walk into the baptismal together and help Pastor Elliot baptize each other.

They played a video of us that we recorded on Wednesday night. (I was really nervous about the video) Basically it told our story...both begin about the same, being baptized in the Catholic church as babies. Then experiencing the Christian faith and accepting Jesus into our lives. We should be getting a copy of our video and I may try and post a clip of it on here for you all to see.

I just can't stress enough how special it was to share this exciting day with my loving husband. It was great because we were able to make the promise together that we WILL raise our children in a family of faith.

Christian baptism is, according to the Bible, an outward testimony of what has occurred inwardly in a believer’s life. Christian baptism illustrates a believer’s identification with Christ’s death, burial, and resurrection.

Next up: Joining Church on the Hill & getting our boys dedicated!!! (Oh, and finding ways we can plug in @ church even with our busy, hectic lives)

I hope everyone has a great, God Blessed week!!

Money DOESN'T Grow on Trees

Posted in on 4:33 PM by Julia♥

I'm sure at some point or another everyone's either heard this from their parents or told this to their kids, "Money doesn't grow on trees...

I'm sorry guys, its true!!!

A lot has been going on in my life in the past few weeks, Gabe started working at Wells Fargo Bank, him & I have been contemplating going through all our "stuff" to have a garage sale, Gabe & I have been preparing to be baptized this coming Sunday, I've been shedding my unwanted weight and together as a couple we've been looking over our finances.
Finances= lack of money & excess debt

We've decided we want to work really hard to live "under our means" and buy consciously...and only pay with $cash$. We want to do what we need to in order to pay off our credit card debt for once and for all and build an emergency fund in our savings account. It is important for us to not only get our physical and spiritual health right, but also our financial health because it teaches our boys the value of a dollar and the important lesson that:

Money/Stuff doesn't = happiness...

Yes, it will be a challenge because we live on a single income, but I believe we will definitely be able to take on this challenge. I yearn for a more simple less hectic life.

I would love to take on a challenge maybe similar to Oprah's "What Can You Live Without?" experiment or Suze Orman's "3 Step Money Pledge"

I will contemplate what kind of challenge I would like to follow, talk about it with Gabe and post in in my next entry!!

Having the BEST things is no substitute for having the BEST life.